


Eavesdropping

by ColdPorridge22



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 07:08:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5239097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdPorridge22/pseuds/ColdPorridge22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan overhears something Phil says on the phone. Much angst ensues. Will there be a happy ending?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eavesdropping

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic, so please be kind :) Hope you enjoy!

###

 

Dan was in a very happy mood. As he exited the Tube and strolled down the streets of London, he reflected on what probably had been the happiest year of his life. 2015 had been a whirlwind of opportunities and new, crazy projects. The book took the cake, of course. It had been so exciting to keep a secret and so, so elating to reveal. Now they were just done touring, another amazing, exhilarating experience. The gaming channel they'd started last year had really taken off and it was such a fun channel to make content for. He looked forward to every video they made, even the spooky ones. And when they weren't busy doing all that, there was always the radio show and their countless collabs.

 

Dan smiled quietly to himself as he realized that _his_ amazing year was mostly down to _them_. Phil had been his constant companion this past year, even more so than ever before. They were practically joined at the hip these days. It was a blessing and a curse. You see, Dan had a dirty little secret. He was in love. In love with his roommate. What had started as a bit of fangirling and a side of hero worship six years ago, quickly turned into a crush and later settled into something deeper, something permanent. Now he couldn't imagine his life without Phil.

 

And that sucked. Because he couldn't be _with_ Phil in the way he really wanted. His best friend didn't love him back. It was a deceptive, convoluted situation, seeing as they did live together and worked together. They just gelled really well together, they liked the same music and TV shows and laughed at the same viral videos when they were hanging out on the couch, eating cereal. In some cruel moments, Dan forgot that was all it was. He would look at Phil and smile a bit too wide and stare a bit too intensely - and then he would remember his place and quickly dial back, his heart shut behind the bars of common sense. Other times, Dan couldn't handle his predicament and snap at Phil or make unnecessary sarcastic comments. That happened more often now. And usually, Phil's smile would vanish and his eyes go matte. Dan hated himself most at those moments. Phil didn't deserve it and Dan really just gave him more reasons to never love him. Dan thought he had crossed some kind of deity and shot a scowl at the sky. If some supernatural power was indeed pissed off at him, it should at least have the common decency to tell him to his face instead of torturing him like a passive-aggressive, melodramatic twat.

 

This afternoon Phil would fly to Florida to visit his family. He'd be gone for almost two weeks - the longest holiday his friend had had since Japan. Dan had realized his friend had become more and more restive and sullen the past few weeks. It was a sure sign of being overworked. It wasn't at all surprising, considering the year they'd had. So Dan was happy his friend took a break.

 

He needed a break himself. Things had indeed become strained a bit more often than usual. Dan was used to some tension now and then - hell, he was living with the man he loved. Phil didn't know, but Dan wasn't about to tell him. As he hadn't made any move the past few years, Dan thought it was a safe bet that the feelings weren't reciprocated. Sometimes Dan thought Phil might actually have some feelings. There were awkward double entendres, a hand brushing the small of his back and when Phil caught Dan staring a bit too long, he'd get this mysterious, unreadable look on his face. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking.

 

But the last month any sleazy puns would be negated with a roll of the eyes or corrected by crisp, sexless Queen's English. Any wandering hand would be quickly withdrawn with a mumbled 'sorry' and any eye contact promptly averted. It saddened Dan, but he understood. Their subscribers picked up on _anything_ and they were nearly constantly in the public eye these days, so he really needed to tone it down. What's more - Phil was too sweet and innocent to deserve the torrent of testosterone Dan happened to pour out over him. Especially since they weren't together and Phil didn't even swing that way.

 

Suddenly he felt really guilty. Was he abusing the situation? He took whatever he could get - though mostly innocent, but without regard to the impact it could have on Phil. He felt a little bit nauseated now that he thought about it.

 

He resolved to lay off the flirting: from now on he'd be on his Best Friend Behavior. He'd help Phil pack his stuff, tell him to say hi to his family and then back the hell off. Phil really needed a break.

_And I need to get the hell over Phil_. He thought with a frown, as he turned the corner into their street.

###

 

'I know, Mum, I'll be at Heathrow on time. I have travelled before, you know.' Phil sighed.

 

His mum was an angel, but sometimes she fretted so much. Why she had called him on his cell instead of Skype, he didn't know. He'd explained the concept to her often enough. It never really stuck. His mum was calling from Florida, having landed there three days prior. He mentally winced as he thought about the upcoming phone bills.

 

_'Alright, dear, just thinking along with you. You know, you sound so run down. Lord knows how tiring it must be traipsing up and down the country with your boyfriend for weeks at a time.'_

 

'Mum, quit fishing. He's not my boyfriend. He doesn't feel that way, you know that.' Phil rolled his eyes.

 

His mums derisive snort sounded tinny over the phone, but her message was clear before she'd spoken.

 

' _Philip, dear, trust your old mum on this one. He does feel the same. I have an antenna for these things, you know.'_

 

Phil laughed. He was just about to explain the concept of the 'gaydar' when his mum continued.

_'Phil, honestly. When are you going to tell him? It's eating you up inside, I know you well enough to see that. What kind of path are you forcing yourself on? How can you just pretend to be friends and lock all your feelings away as if they don't exist?'_

 

Phil ran a hand down his face. He was strung out from the past few months, utterly stressed from being so close to someone he'd fallen in love with, someone who didn't love him back. He was actually going to tear his hair out if he got one more tweet asking if Phan was real. Because it hurt so much to say it wasn't, and it was even more painful to be unable to say that he actually wanted it to be real. And worse, when Dan got tweets like that, he'd roll his eyes and say 'Ugh!' as if the very thought of the concept was repulsive.

 

'But they do exist. Every day it gets harder to ignore and harder to repress. Sometimes I think I'm losing my mind. I try to be his friend, but all I can think is how much more I want us to be. But then I remember how he reacts to people who ship us and I don't even dare to bring it up. I want to tell him so badly, but I just can't. I- I'm just not ready to hear it's never going to happen.'

_'Oh honey, how can you even work together with him like this?'_

 

'Honestly? Working with Dan is hell. You have no idea how much energy it's taking, pretending to be friends.'

_###_

As Dan opened their front door, he heard Phil's voice from up the stairs. He was about to slam the door shut in his usual overenthusiastic manner and announce his arrival, until he heard his name spill from his roommate's lips.

 

'Working with Dan is hell. You have no idea how much energy it's taking, pretending to be friends.'

 

What the hell? Dan frowned. That was rather rude. He closed the door as softly as he could and stood as quietly as possible to hear what his friend was talking about.

 

'You don't even know, Mum, it's so exhausting being around Dan all the time. I mean, we've been either holed up at home together or travelling together, I can never catch a freaking break. Sometimes I feel so suffocated and trapped that I just want to scream and drop everything and just run. But he's just always right there. Always standing just a bit too close, smiling just a bit too much. Sometimes it almost makes me feel like I'm about to throw up.'

 

Phil paused a moment, apparently listening to his mum's reply. Dan hardly noticed. It was as though a cold, clammy hand had gripped his throat and choked him. He felt like a tight band was constricting his chest, forcing his last air out.

 

'Of course I can't tell him, Mum. How do you think that would go over? I don't exactly think he would welcome the news. There would be no way we could work together. I'd lose my house, my radio show, the gaming channel and most importa-' Phil cut of his sentence - his mum had interrupted him.

 

Dan felt nauseated. Was that the only reason Phil hung around with him? A job and a house? That wasn't Phil! His friend would never be this cruel. But he couldn't deny what he'd heard so clearly. _You stupid moron_. He thought to himself. _How do you know what Phil thinks? You never expected to hear this, did you?_

 

'Don't you think I don't know?' Phil continued on the phone, oblivious to Dan's presence downstairs. 'Seriously, I can't even look at him sometimes. It's a travesty of a friendship, I know, but if I tell him, I lose everything. I'm just going to keep up appearances for a while. It's better than nothing.'

 

More silence. Dan was numb. There was a gaping hole where his heart had been. A tight ball of writhing black despair had settled in his stomach, tendrils reaching up inside his throat. He didn't want to hear this. He needed to get out, to run, to ... but his feet remained firmly on the ground.

 

'Well, all I know is, I'm happy I'm going overseas for a while, get some distance. Honestly, I sometimes just can't stand to be arou-'

 

Suddenly, Dan decided he had heard enough. He wrenched the door open and threw it shut again, alerting Phil he had arrived.

 

'Oh, he's home. You have my flight details right? ... Okay, see you later, love you. Bye.'

 

Dan walked up the stairs, not knowing what he should say or do now. Phil didn't know he was eavesdropping. If he knew, then it would be so easy for him to just give that final push, telling Dan they were done and get on a plane. Dan was not about to make it that easy for him. He'd keep up appearances as well and work on an exit strategy while Phil was away.

 

'Hey!' Phil greeted happily. Dan couldn't see him. He couldn't see his friend - he could only see an imposter wearing a friendly face. A face he loved. It fucking killed him.

 

'Hi.' He ground out. It was the shortest reply he could muster without resorting to just using the letter H. His tongue was barely working. There was a faint ringing in his ears and his vision was even blurring at the edges. He remembered to breathe and walked to his bedroom as fast as he could, putting as much distance between himself and Phil as he could.

 

'Dan?'

 

_One foot, then another. Don't look back. One foot and then another._

 

He reached his bedroom safely and closed the door quickly. Phil hadn't followed. He shouldn't be surprised or hurt, with regards to recent revelations. But now it hit home with the force of a tidal wave. He'd lost him. He'd lost Phil and he'd been too freaking blind to see he'd never had him in the first place. He let out a shaky breath and suddenly the tears came. Dan threw himself on the bed and buried his head in his pillow. He was proud enough to be determined not to give Phil any indication how much he had hurt him. But fuck if it didn't hurt so much.

 

###

 

About fifteen minutes later his cell phone buzzed. A text from Phil.

 

P: _Rough day?_

 

Oh, right, they were keeping up appearances.

 

D: _Yeah, feel like I have a fever coming up. Should be fine in a day._  


P: _Hm that sucks. Neil and Agnes from bbc had that too. Must be going around. Want tea?_  


D: _No thanks. I'm going to sleep now. Have a good flight._  


P: _Thanks. Get well soon. Shout if you need anything?_  
  


D: _Sure, thanks._

 

Dan wished it was just a fever that was making his life hell now. Then he could just throw up and sleep for a day and wake up feeling fine. But now? Well, throwing up and sleeping were definitely on the list, but Dan didn't think he wanted to wake up from that sleep.

 

###

 

It was an hour before there was a soft knock on the door. Phil was probably coming to say goodbye before he left for Florida. Dan decided to pretend to be asleep. He didn't want to deal with civil goodbyes right now. Tears had been coming steadily for the past hour, so he knew his eyes were probably red and puffy. A clear sign of defeat. No thanks.

 

Dan had his back turned to the door, lying on his side. He quickly closed his eyes when he heard Phil open the door.

 

'Dan?' his roommate asked quietly. 'I'm leaving.'

 

_I know you are._ Dan thought, but didn't move a muscle.

 

Phil stood in the doorway for a full minute. Dan could feel his eyes boring into the back of his skull.

 

_Just leave_. Dan wished, his stomach roiling with misery. _Don't pretend you even want to talk. I make you feel sick, don't I?_

 

Another minute and Dan got his wish. His bedroom door closed and soon after, the front door opened and shut as well.

 

He was alone.

 

He bit back a sob as he realized he would never, ever be able to talk to Phil as friends again.

 

_Stupid, stupid moron. I never should have been so flirty. I just wanted more and more and more even though I knew he didn't_. _I did this. I pushed him away._

 

He probably wouldn't even see him again. And as much as that tore him apart, it was the only way Dan was able to save his dignity in this situation. But no matter how sad he was, he was equal parts angry. He wasn't about to sit here meekly and be told by his supposed best friend that their friendship was just an on-camera thing. He felt used, dirty and disgusted at Phil that he wasn't even going to tell Dan. Because he didn't want to risk their fucking work.

 

Dan might be a pathetic, hung-up sucker, but Phil was a downright heartless asshole.

 

###

 

For the first few days, Dan couldn't function.

 

The day after Phil left, Dan woke up at 5am. He couldn't be bothered to leave his bed. He was just so empty and tired of everything. He just lay there, occasionally napping.

 

Later in the morning, he got a text from Phil saying he'd landed safely.

 

Dan texted back 'k'.

 

Because fuck Phil.

 

When he was finally sick of his bed, it was already early afternoon. He went to the bathroom. But then he saw the giant One Direction poster and he remembered when they had gotten it and how much fun they'd had putting it up, almost falling over each other in the cramped space to wrestle the life sized poster into place. The force of the flashback nearly made him throw up on Niall's face.

 

He'd never felt so betrayed. He hadn't even seen it coming. If he hadn't overheard, he might've continued living in his fantasy world for another - what, month? Year? Dan was amazed that Phil had kept the mask on so well and hated him for it. But mostly he hated himself for building his world on that mask. And that world was painfully visible all throughout the house.

 

As he showered, being in a bath just reminded him too much of the videos they'd made for the Super Amazing Project. Had Phil hated him then, even before they moved to London? He slid down to sit in the bath and racked his brain for any possible clues. It was two hours before he emerged, looking like a raisin.

 

He tried watching TV, but every show he saw, he'd seen with Phil. Or talked about with Phil. Or was suggested by Phil, only to be shot down by Dan. He logged on Tumblr, but the amount of Phan-related posts were enough to slam his laptop closed and throw it on the couch in disgust. These people were just as naive as Dan and Phil had fooled them all.

 

The kitchen was the worst. Their baking videos were secretly his favorites, mostly because it always meant doing videos with Phil and eating. Those were his three favorite things, all combined in one handy, tiny kitchen. Now, it made his heart drop to where his stomach was supposed to be, and his stomach felt like it was still in the bathroom staring up at Zayn.

 

He blindly reached into the fridge. He hadn't eaten since yesterday and it was already well into the afternoon. His eyes were tearing up again - damned things. His hand brushed an unopened bottle of wine and presto - breakfast was sorted.

 

###

 

The next day, Dan realized that drinking on an empty stomach was an exceptionally bad idea. He woke up, slouched against the kitchen cupboards, the empty bottle lying next to him on the ground.

 

He lurched up and dashed to the bathroom, just in time to truly pay his respects to One Direction. He flushed the toilet and rested his head against the cool tiles on the wall.

 

He didn't know how long he had been out. He just knew he didn't give a shit. He felt like shit, though.

 

With bleary eyes he wrestled his phone from his pocket and checked whether he'd sent any dumb drunk texts. None. At least he'd gotten that right. His mum had tried to call him, though. So had PJ. He texted them he was feeling sick. He shot a text to one of the BBC producers, because there was no way he was doing a radio show on his own this evening. He quickly received replies, wishing he'd feel better soon.

 

Not bloody fucking likely.

 

He rested his head against the cool tiles again and closed his eyes. His head was pounding like mad. It wasn't long before he passed out again. He knew how to throw a goddamn pity party.

 

###

 

Phil was worried. Dan had been fine and happy up until the day of his departure to Florida, but then he'd gotten sick. Or at least, that's what Dan said. Phil wasn't entirely sure he believed him. When he'd said goodbye to Dan, he immediately noticed his friend was faking his sleep. He'd actually debated calling him out on it, but he'd been strapped for time. Now he regretted not saying anything.

 

He'd texted Dan when he landed and he'd only gotten a 'k' back. There wasn't a single sign of activity on any social media. Just that one letter 'k' confirmed that his friend was even alive. That was yesterday. Since then, it seemed Dan had fallen off the face of the earth.

 

Phil glanced at the clock. It was almost time for their radio show, which would only be hosted by Dan this time. He'd set up his laptop and waited for the livestream to load. Absent-minded he checked his phone to see if Dan had maybe texted him.

 

He nearly shot up from his chair as a text suddenly appeared. He was almost disappointed to see it was from Tyler Oakley. He would be in the neighborhood the next day, heard Phil was around and wanted to see if he wanted to do a collab. Phil excitedly replied he'd love to and then gave his address.

 

With a smile on his face, he locked his screen and turned his attention back to the screen.

 

_Due to circumstances there will be no Internet Takeover this week._

 

Phil nearly dropped his coffee and his eyes went wide. What the hell was going on?

 

He grabbed his phone and called Dan.

 

The phone rang. And rang. And rang. Phil felt genuine fear rising in his throat when his friend didn't pick up. Phil hung up when he heard the cheery voicemail invite him to leave a message. He settled for a text.

 

P: _Dan, are you ok? There's no radio show and you're not picking up, I'm worried. Call me._

 

Then he texted PJ, to ask if he'd heard anything from Dan.

 

PJ texted back quickly, saying Dan had said he was sick. That did little to alleviate Phil's worries. It had been a few days since Dan had first plead sick - and he'd said it was only a little bit of a fever, nothing to worry about.

 

It took Dan an hour to text back and Phil was absolutely frazzled by that time. He'd even debated asking PJ to check on Dan. As soon as he saw his phone light up, he snatched it so fast he almost dropped it in the process.

 

D: _Worried about the radio show, are you?_

 

Phil was taken aback. Where was this coming from?

 

P: _Worried about you, actually. Do you still have that fever? Have you been to a doctor?_

D: _Are you actually kidding me?_

Phil tried calling, but was instantly cut to voicemail.

P: _Dan, what's going on? I don't understand. Call me please._

D: _I'll tell you what's fucking going on. I heard you on the phone with your mum. Before you left. Don't deny it._

 

Phil felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him. How had he heard?

 

And his second thought was: holy cow, Dan knew Phil was in love with him.

 

D: _Nothing to say now?_

 

P: _Sorry, just shocked a bit I guess. Didn't mean for you to find out this way. But I'm glad you know now._

 

D: _Yeah, great, it's off your chest! Never mind that the thought of you now makes me want to throw up!_

Phil sat back in shock. Oh fuck. Oh fuck fuck fuck.

 

D: _Seriously, I stand too close a few times, hold my gaze a second too long and this happens? If I knew this was how you'd react to me I'd never have moved in with you._

 

Phil felt sick. He'd never imagined Dan would react this badly to him being in love with him, but apparently Dan was absolutely disgusted. Tears were welling up and he swallowed thickly as he read the next text.

 

D: _What's most disgusting is that you were willing to keep this fucking charade up to keep our channels going._

Phil didn't know what to type back. He couldn't even type, his hands were shaking too badly. How the hell had this derailed so fast?

 

D: _You can't even text back now? Just because I found out what I am to you? You disgust me. People like you are disgusting. Were you just using me?_

 

Phil found his fingers again. He wasn't about to be called disgusting because he was in love. No way.

 

P: _Don't call me disgusting. I can't help how I feel. These things sometimes happen when you're as close as we are. And it sucks, but we need to talk through this._

 

D: _How the fuck is that supposed to make it easier for me? I seriously thought we had a good thing going, just the way we were._

P: _We can still go back to that. No one has to know, I've been keeping this inside for years. We can still do the radio show and the gaming channel and stuff._

D: _And you think I actually want to do that with you? I can't even fucking stand to read your texts, let alone be around you._

Phil made another failed attempt to call Dan. He nearly threw his phone through the room when he got the voicemail again. His heart was in his throat. This was chaos, utter chaos. How had it gone so wrong?

P: _Dan, please call me. I don't want you to be mad. I'm really sorry how you found out but you know I can't exactly control my thoughts and feelings. Can't you just accept that?_

 

D: _No way. You make me want to throw up. No scratch that, I already did. I'm moving out before you come back._

Now Phil was frantically trying to call Dan, only to be directed to voicemail time and again.

 

P: _Dan, please call me, please pick up. We need to talk. Please!_

 

D: _Don't fucking text me again. You're dead to me._

 

Phil's phone slipped from his trembling fingers as he sagged to the floor, completely defeated. And then in a fit of rage, he threw his coffee cup at the wall, shattering it.

 

His mum came running in when she heard the noise. She was not prepared to find her youngest son on the floor, leaning against the bed.

 

'Oh Phil! What happened!' She exclaimed and dropped to her knees next to him.

 

'Dan knows.' Phil croaked, his voice hoarse from crying.

 

His mum gasped. 'And he.. didnt.. isn't..?'

 

Phil just shook his head and couldn't hold back the tears anymore. His mum quickly wrapped him in a hug and let him pour his heart out as he clung to her.

 

Little did he know Dan was having the same breakdown over 4000 miles away.

 

###

 

Dan was left to his own devices during his breakdown. He was in _their_ house, surrounded by _their_ stuff and it made him so freaking sad that Phil was sick of him. And then he was mad because Phil never said anything, because he didn't want to jeopardize their work projects. He alternated between sad and mad so quickly that it was starting to feel like a swirling vortex of the worst possible feelings.

 

He knew he should start packing. Lord knows he has a lot of stuff. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't accept that the last six years of his life were swirling the drain. He just wanted to look at it a little longer. He cried himself to sleep, lying on Phil's bed. It was pathetic, he knew, but he desperately wanted to pretend it was still okay, even if it was only for a bit.

 

###

 

Tyler Oakley was, apparently, a morning person. At 8:13 AM he texted Phil.

 

Phil looked at his phone, squinting because he didn't have contacts in or glasses on yet. He was still in bed. He had a monstrous headache, the kind you get from having your world ripped apart while you can't do anything about it. He swore to God, if this text was from Dan, he would throw his phone in the ocean. Or the nearest passing hurricane. He could pop in as well, that would be a nice solution.

 

T: _Good morning! Was hoping to drop by around 10, if that's not too early?_

 

Phil sighed. It was Tyler, not Dan.

 

He had to cancel it, of course. He was in no shape to do a collab - and definitely not with someone as energetic and cheery as Tyler. He'd probably make a million people unsubscribe just by looking as morose as he felt.

 

P: _Sorry, can't do a collab. Some stuff happened and I can't do it. Really appreciated the offer though, maybe sometime in the future?_

 

Tyler, of course, called immediately. Phil picked up, happy that someone was actually using their phone to call and talk to him. Unlike an unnamed soon-to-be-former-roommate...

 

'Tyler, I'm sorry, don't be mad. I...' Phil started.

 

'Okay, listen up. Here's how this works. You can't just text me 'some stuff happened' and not elaborate. I was looking forward to this!'

 

'So was I.' Phil said sadly. Apparently he was just really good at letting people down.

 

'Oh my God, you sound really serious, what is it?' Tyler asked, taken aback.

 

Phil hesitated. Tyler already knew Phil was in love with Dan, he'd told him after they did their Newlyfriend Challenge this summer. And Tyler knew Dan had no idea - at the time, at least. If anyone could offer some friendly advice, it would be Tyler.

 

'Look, swear you won't tell anyone.'

 

'Lips are sealed.'

 

'Swear it.'

 

'Shit, that serious? I swear it on my YouTube channel.'

 

_Fair enough..._ Phil thought and took a deep breath.

 

'Dan found out I'm in love with him.'

 

'HOLY SHIT! Did you tell him?' Tyler practically squealed. 'Tell me you're boarding the next plane back to England to make sweet, pasty love in a phone booth!'

 

Phil swallowed thickly, blinking back a fresh batch of tears.

 

'He's moving out. Said to never talk to him again.' He forced out.

 

Phil could almost see Tyler's face crumpling on the other side of the line.

 

'So, I'm not really in the mood for a collab. Sorry if I messed up your schedule.'

 

'Phil, oh my God... I can't believe this. I'm coming over and you're going to tell me everything. No collabs, just as friends. I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?'

 

Well, Phil could hardly turn that down.

 

'Okay, thanks Tyler.'

 

'Hey, that's what Newlyfriends are for!'

 

Phil chuckled as he hung up. It would be good to have Tyler around for a bit. You just couldn't _not_ smile with that guy around.

 

###

 

True to his word, Tyler pulled into the driveway forty minutes later. Phil had just finished blow-drying his hair. He opened the front door and waved awkwardly.

 

Tyler rushed up to him and immediately enveloped Phil in a big hug.

 

'Oh don't do that, Tyler, I've only just finished crying.' Phil whispered.

 

'You need it, though.'

 

Phil couldn't deny it, so he hugged a bit tighter before he led Tyler inside.

 

He led Tyler to his bedroom. They could've just sat in the living room, but Phil wasn't keen on his parents hearing the details.

 

And he told Tyler everything. He told him about the phone call he had with his mum before he left for Florida, how he'd talked about being in love with Dan and his growing difficulty to keep it a secret. And then came the difficult part.

 

'Last night things kind of came to a head. Dan said he'd been feeling sick before I left and when I tuned into the radio show, it turned out to be cancelled. So I tried to call him, because I was worried, you know?'

 

Tyler nodded, listening intently. He was a damn good listener. Phil was really happy to just let everything out. It made him understand the jumble of thoughts in his head better.

 

'But then he texted me and... well, you read them. I don't want to see these anymore.' Phil said, pulling up his conversation with Dan on his phone.

 

Tyler read it, mouth falling open and color draining from his face.

 

'Are you serious... are you actually serious right now? Fuck man, that's a lot of hate. Wow, I never expected this from him.'

 

Phil nodded sadly.

 

'Yeah. So I don't know what to do now. I mean, it's pretty clear that we won't be working together anymore. And he's moving out so-'

 

'Wait right there! What the hell does Dan mean that he's disgusted by 'people like you'?'

 

Phil shrugged.

 

'Not sure. He has lots of gay and bi friends, so I don't know where that came from.'

 

'I'm not having it. I've collab'ed with this guy, the least he could do tell me if he's a homophobe! I'm calling him right now!'

 

Phil's mouth dropped open as Tyler grabbed his own phone and angrily swiped and tapped before he found Dan. He looked furious as hell. Phil would never admit it, but he was damn glad that Dan was going to get his ass kicked.

 

As Dan picked up, Phil could hear his voice. Tyler's phone was turned up pretty loud.

 

'Hi, Tyler! Didn't expect a call from you!'

 

'You know what I didn't expect? For you to be a fucking homophobe!' Tyler immediately snapped.

 

_Oooh boy, the gloves were off in the first round_.

 

'Err... Tyler, what do you mean? I'm not a homophobe, you know I'm not!'

 

'Well that's not what I'm reading right here!'

 

'What are you reading? I never said anything like that!'

 

'Don't even deny it, it's right here in your text to Phil! _People like you are disgusting_ , are you kidding me?!' Tyler yelled.

 

'Well, hate to break it to you, but Phil's a deceiving, lying asshole. You'd better get your fucking facts straight, Tyler, because Phil's not the gay in that equation. Phil just straight up confessed that he's sick of me always being around. And then he has the fucking nerve to stick around anyways because we have so many job opportunities together. Well, I'm not just going to sit there and take that just because I'm in love with that fucking asshole! Did he tell you that, huh?!' Dan spit angrily.

 

Phil and Tyler looked at each other, mouths hanging open in disbelief.

 

And then Tyler laughed, laughed till he was red in the face, tears streaming down his cheeks. Phil just sat there, too dumbstruck to talk, but small tendrils of hope began to crawl through his veins. Did Dan really mean what he just said?

 

'What the fuck are you on about, Tyler? I don't have time for this.' Dan fumed.

 

'Oh my God, oh my God, you don't even know what you just said! This is perfect!'

 

Dan began to sputter, but Tyler cut him off immediately.

 

'Dan, tell me _exactly_ what you overheard.'

 

'Tyler, seriously, what the fuck?'

 

'Tell. Me. Now.'

 

'Alright, fine! I came home, heard Phil talking to his mum. He said working with me was hell, he couldn't stand to be around me because I was always so close, he couldn't stand to look at me and he was really happy to go to fucking Florida to put some distance between us! And then he said he's not even going to clue me in, because then he'd lose his house and work. Can you see where I'm coming from?' Dan sounded really, really upset.

 

Phil stood up, signaling Tyler to give him the phone. He wanted to tell Dan himself. It needed to come from him. Tyler gave him the phone without question.

 

'Dan... it's me. Don't hang up. You didn't hear the full conversation.'

 

'It sounded pretty complete to me.' Dan's voice was hollow.

 

'No, you don't understand. My mum asked me how I was coping travelling with you so much, because she knows I've been in love with you for years. That's why it was so difficult to be around you.' Phil explained quietly.

 

His mouth was dry. Dan wasn't responding.

 

'You can ask my mum. Or Tyler. And I definitely don't hate you. I'd give up everything if it meant you wouldn't be mad at me.'

 

'Jesus, Phil... my texts... you must've thought I hated you because... '

 

Dan cut off there, uncertain if he should say the words for him. Phil smiled and finished the sentence.

 

'Because I'm in love with you. Yeah. I thought that's why you never wanted to talk to me again and move out.' Phil choked on the last part of the sentence, because damn it, the tears were back. 'Sorry... the l-last f-few days were k-kinda rough.'

 

And now Dan was crying too. 'I'm sorry! I didn't know...'

 

They both stayed quiet for a bit, trying to get their tears under control. Dan broke the silence first.

 

'I love you.'

 

'I love you too.' Phil replied immediately.

 

'YESSS!' Tyler jumped up and started clapping. Phil jumped about three feet in the air, he'd completely forgotten Tyler was there.

 

'I'm so happy for you two! Oh my God, I'm calling dibs on the Boyfriend Tag Challenge, I'm totally going to -'

 

'Tyler, no YouTube things!' Phil commanded. 'Not until we decide we want to come out!'

 

'Yeah, and don't mention this to anyone else.' Dan piped up over the phone, laughing now.

 

'Fine, fine. But I'm first in line when the time comes, okay?'

 

'Fine.' Dan laughed. Phil's heart swelled at the sound. He was just so utterly happy and relieved.

 

'I'm going to look for plane tickets. The man I love is on the other side of the world and I won't have that.' Dan announced.

 

Phil's heart just about exploded when he heard Dan refer to him that way. It triggered something possessive in him.

 

'No. I'm coming to London. I think the first time we kiss should be in our home.' He heard a small intake of breath on the other side of the line. He imagined Dan was blushing. He hoped so. He looked so cute when he did that.

 

Tyler loudly awwww'ed at that. 'You guys are so totally made for each other!'

 

Phil turned his attention back to the phone. 'I'm taking the next flight to London. Don't you dare move out.'

 

'I won't. I love you.'

 

'I love you too. See you soon.'

 

He hung up the phone, handed it to Tyler with shaking hands and grinned. Did that just happen?

 

'And that's how it's done!' Tyler cheered, giving him a double high five. 'Seriously, congratulations! You have a boyfriend now!'

 

Phil sat down hard. 'I know... I can't even process what just happened now.'

 

'Yeah, me neither. But you, my friend, have a long flight back to think about that.'

 

###

 

Dan was nervous as hell. Phil's plane had landed an hour ago and Phil just texted he was about ten minutes out. He made his rounds again. Bathrooms - clean to the max. Kitchen - clean and fully stocked. Bedrooms - tidied, with some extra supplies in Dan's own room. You never know what might happen and Dan wasn't about to pop to the shops in case such an event would occur. He had made sure they wouldn't need to leave the house for at least two days.

 

His rounds led him back to the living room. He had lit candles, put on the fire in the hearth and fluffed the pillows - yes, even his sofa crease was gone. He had put on a playlist of Muse, mostly to listen to during cleaning, but now he kept it on because he would go mad if it was completely silent.

 

His finishing touch was the sprig of mistletoe he'd hung from the ceiling. It had taken some pain and some duct tape, but he knew Phil totally loved Christmas, so this was a nice touch, he thought.

 

He heard the front door open and his stomach did a flip. Holy shit. Phil was coming up the stairs now, dragging his suit case. As he heard the thud of the suit case lowered to the floor of their landing, Phil called.

 

'Dan? Where are you?'

 

'Living room.' Dan answered. That hadn't sounded like a squeak, thank you very much. Gods, his mouth was dry.

 

And suddenly there he was, standing in the doorway. Dan's heart and stomach fought for the right to climb out of his throat first. Phil looked damn good. He had a slight five o'clock shadow and his dark hair was slightly ruffled. His electric blue eyes found Dan's brown ones and oh, he was so fucked.

 

'Why are you standing there?' Phil asked. His voice was low and damn if that didn't flip Dan's stomach once more.

 

Dan didn't answer, except to flick his eyes up to the mistletoe. Phil followed his eyes upward and then found his again and just _beamed_ at him. In three steps he'd closed the distance and their lips found each other.

 

Dan had never been kissed like this before. Some people described fireworks? Fireworks were fucking boring compared to this. This was a freaking firestorm with lightning and thunder. He wasn't floating, he was being dragged into the hurricane that was Phil. He was drowning and the only thing that kept him breathing were Phil's lips. Lips shouldn't be that soft. One of Phil's hands wound into his hair and Dan gasped. Phil used the opportunity to seek out Dan's tongue with his own. _Oh shit_ , that was amazing. Yes, this was definitely good. It was insane that they managed _not_ to do this for six years, because now Dan couldn't find a reason why they would ever stop.

 

After a while they did need to stop - Dan hadn't fully accounted for oxygen. He was clinging to Phil, pressed close, out of breath and he felt he might be cross-eyed too. Phil looked fucking sinful, his hair going wild - Dan was surprised to find one of his own hands tangled in there. His other hand was on Phil's surprisingly strong bicep, trying to keep him standing up instead of melting into a gooey puddle on the floor. Phil's eyes were more black than blue, his pupils blown wide as they focused on Dan. His lips were parted, glimmering wetly as he panted slightly.

 

One of Phil's hands had been at the small of his back, but was now moving to the side. As the hand moved under his shirt to find skin, Dan nearly whimpered at the sensation. Phil's eyes immediately shot up to connect with his. Dan blushed. They hadn't only just covered base one and he was already sounding like a porn star. Nice going, Howell.

 

'You're so responsive.' Phil said in a husky voice. 'I like it.' Okay, Dan was definitely blushing now. Phil recaptured his mouth and kissed him deeply. A hand traveled up his belly, leaving traces of burning fire, fingers now ghosting over his ribs and Dan moaned into the kiss. Phil took him to the bedroom when Undisclosed Desires started playing and Dan was _damned_ glad he'd bought some supplies.

 

###

 

Four weeks later.

 

The last four weeks were definitely the best of their lives. They'd told their families and of course Tyler knew. But other than that, they'd kept their newfound relationship a secret.

 

They both wanted to come out - especially after they'd made the seventh PINOF, which took an insane amount of editing and then _still_ contained way too much innuendo to just be between friends. And YouTube was such a big part of their lives, it would not feel right to keep such an important part of themselves hidden. They had been brainstorming about a special coming out video for a week now, but nothing seemed just right to them.

 

It was a Wednesday morning when Dan got the idea. They'd had one hell of a night and they were both feeling especially affectionate. Phil had been so tender all morning that Dan's heart just about exploded when he saw that soft smile directed at him. This might just be the best moment to hatch his plan.

 

'We haven't uploaded for a while. Maybe we should stop racking our brains on the coming out video and just do something fun.'

 

'Sure, do you have anything in mind?' Phil said, sipping his coffee and absentmindedly rubbing his foot up Dan's calf.

 

'Hmm, we could do the 7 second challenge with a twist. I added some questions.'

 

'Sure.' Phil sounded curious, but didn't press him.

 

As Dan set up the camera, he hoped this would work.

 

'And no funny business, okay? I don't want to spend another morning editing.' Phil just raised his eyebrow at him. Dan rolled his eyes and turned on the camera.

 

'Hi internet! We know we haven't uploaded in a little while, so we decided to upload this to keep you happy. It's a 7 second challenge - with a twist!'

 

'What's the twist?' Phil asked, looking concerned.

 

'You'll find out!' Dan said enigmatically.

 

'Is this payback for Tweety? I said I was sorry!' Phil asked, looking worried.

 

'You know how the game goes! You start!' Dan pulled up their app on the phone and gave it to Phil.

 

'Name seven kinds of family members!'

 

'Errr.. mom, dad, kid, sister, brother errr.. grandm-' BZZZT Time up. Damn. He was nervous.

 

'A great start for Dan. Failed it.' Phil concluded.

 

They played two more questions, one each. Dan felt slightly sick as the phone was handed back to him for his second question. This was it.

 

He didn't read the question that had been provided.

 

'Kiss me.'

 

He started the timer.

 

Phil froze, then rolled his eyes but obliged anyway. He closed the distance between them and pressed a tender kiss to Dan's waiting lips. It was a sweet, short kiss.

 

'This is just going to add to your editing time, you know.' Phil said as he pulled back. The timer indicated time up.

 

Dan blushed. 'It might not. I thought that this could be our coming out video. No editing, just plonk it on the net. That's the video done, editing done, coming out done... and we'd have the afternoon off.'

 

Phil didn't say whether he agreed to that idea, but the passion he poured into the next kiss sort of solidified it for him. Dan responded enthusiastically, but made himself pull back after a few seconds. He was slightly dazed and a little out of breath.

 

'Well, I think you nailed that.'

 

'Oh I haven't nailed anything yet.' Phil said with a gleam in his eyes as he started unbuttoning his shirt.

 

Dan quickly turned to the camera with a big grin, said 'bye!' and turned it off.

 

He let out a shaky breath.

 

'Is that okay, you think?'

 

'You're a minx, you know that?' Phil said, pecking his lips quickly. He hesitated for a bit and buttoned his shirt up again. 'Let's put it up right now. Before I lose my nerve.'

 

'Really?' Dan said enthusiastically. He quickly opened the video. The whole thing was only just two minutes. When the image of them kissing came up, Phil wrapped his arms around Dan.

 

'We look really good together.' Dan had to agree. Their second kiss on the video was longer, more passionate, but hell if it didn't look more beautiful than the first. Dan laughed at Phil's closing announcement on the video, but Phil buried his face into Dan's neck, groaning.

 

'No complaining. We're leaving that in. It's damn sexy. Okay, what to title this... 7 seconds with a twist?'

 

'Yeah, can't be too conspicuous in the title. Here, let me do the description.' Phil said as he took the keyboard.

 

_Sorry, just a short video. We're rather busy._

 

'Oh that's just wrong!' Dan laughed, but pressed upload anyway. They quickly updated their social media and waited for the inevitable shit storm.

**Author's Note:**

> I felt I had to put up end notes to thank everyone who's left kudos or reviews! I'm so happy that you liked it! This was my first fic and English isn't my first language, so I was really nervous putting this up. Now I can't wait to write more! I have some ideas kicking around in my head, I hope to find some time to write them down. Thank you for the great feedback!


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